Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; He will neither fail you nor abandon you.
Deuteronomy 31:8
Over the weekend, I attended a Pilates and Praise event. The purpose of the event was to glorify the Almighty and bring women together to praise the Father. There were beautiful songs, heartfelt worship, and powerful testimonies.
I do not enjoy speaking in public because my words often seem to leave me when I stand in front of others. But on this day, when no one wanted to speak, God gave me the courage to stand up and share my story.
I spoke about how God lifted me through trials and tribulations. For most of the event, I found myself crying—not because I was sad, but because I was filled with pure joy and gratitude.
I have always known about Jesus, but I had never truly sought Him. That changed a few years ago when I lost my baby.
I was six months pregnant with a baby girl when my cervix opened, and I developed an infection. I spent the following month going in and out of the hospital, praying that I could hold on just a little longer. I needed enough time for the infection to clear and for my baby to grow stronger inside me.
I remember the manager of the hospital wing coming to speak with me about the possible outcome. She explained that, if my baby survived, she might have severe health challenges, including the possibility of needing a wheelchair or experiencing brain damage. As she spoke, I felt myself spacing out. It was simply too much for me to bear.
I remember praying so hard to God. I needed Him to help me, to help my baby. I felt overwhelmed and afraid.
The next day, I went into labour. My baby girl gave one cry and passed away.
I was broken.
So many thoughts went through my mind. I wondered what I should have done differently and whether I could have somehow prevented what happened. But God met me in that place, and He had mercy on me.
For months, I hated myself. Then I became pregnant again soon after losing my baby, and I was filled with fear for my unborn child. I needed her to be safe. I needed her to be protected. I was terrified that I would experience the same heartbreak again.
I also knew that if I did not become pregnant then, I might never have another opportunity to have a child.
Today, I look at my daughter, who is three years old, and I am filled with gratitude. She has only had the flu once in her entire life. She has no allergies, and she did not even cry until she was three months old. I had to wake her to feed her. She is fearless, joyful, and full of life.
When I look at her, I am reminded of the grace of God.
She was never meant to replace the daughter I lost. Instead, she is a beautiful reminder that God was with me through my pain, that He heard my prayers, and that He still loved me even when I could not feel His presence.
God’s grace is enough for all of us.
Reflection
Take a moment to look back over your own life. Where did God meet you when you were at your lowest? How did He carry you through? How did He bring you out of a place you thought you would never escape?
Remember those moments. Let them remind you that the same God who was with you then is with you now. He goes before you, and He will never leave you or forsake you.
Sincerely,
Restored by Grace.
Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You that when I was lost, You found me.
When I was broken, You lifted me up.
When I was tired, You gave me strength.
When I felt like I had nothing left to give, You gave me purpose again.
Lord, I pray that I never forget.
Never let me forget the places You brought me out of, the battles You fought for me, and the moments when You carried me when I could not carry myself.
When life is good, remind me of Your faithfulness.
When life is difficult, remind me of where You have already met me.
Help me to remember that You were there in my lowest moments, even when I could not see You. You heard the prayers I could barely speak. You saw the tears I cried when no one else was watching.
Thank You for Your grace.
Thank You for loving me when I did not know how to love myself. Thank You for giving me another day, another chance, and another reason to hope.
May my life never become so busy that I forget how far You have brought me.
And when I am tempted to be afraid of what lies ahead, remind me that the same God who carried me through yesterday is the God who goes before me today.
I will remember where You found me.
I will remember where You met me.
And I will remember that You never left me.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.